The Conversations You Should Be Having with Your Manager - HBR IdeaCast Recap

Podcast: HBR IdeaCast

Published: 2025-04-15

Duration: 27 min

Summary

In this episode, executive coach Melody Wilding discusses the importance of managing up in the workplace, emphasizing that it's about building strategic relationships with those in higher positions. She highlights how effective communication with managers can lead to career advancement and improved job satisfaction.

What Happened

Curt Nickin introduces Melody Wilding, an executive coach and author of 'Managing Up,' who defines managing up as navigating relationships with those who hold more positional power, primarily your direct supervisor but also extending to others like project leads. Wilding argues that this approach has evolved from merely ingratiating oneself with a manager to becoming a thought partner or trusted advisor. She emphasizes that workplace politics are unavoidable and that navigating them with integrity is crucial for success.

Wilding identifies a common challenge: individuals often lack the psychological tools to effectively manage up. Many are trained in technical skills but are not equipped to understand human behavior and motivation in the workplace. This gap can lead to feelings of being a victim of workplace dynamics. She emphasizes that while leaders should strive for improvement, employees should also take the initiative to advocate for themselves and engage in crucial alignment conversations with their managers to ensure they are focusing on the right priorities.

Key Insights

Key Questions Answered

What is managing up and why is it important?

Managing up is defined by Melody Wilding as navigating relationships with individuals who have more positional power than you, primarily your boss. It has evolved from simply ingratiating oneself to positioning as a thought partner or trusted advisor. This skill is crucial as it helps you understand the dynamics of the workplace and align your efforts with organizational goals, ultimately leading to opportunities and satisfaction in your role.

Why do people struggle with managing up?

Many individuals are thrust into their careers with a focus on technical skills, leaving them unprepared for the psychological aspects of workplace dynamics. Wilding notes that cultural backgrounds often discourage questioning authority or advocating for oneself, leading to a reluctance to engage in managing up. This lack of preparedness can create feelings of being overwhelmed by workplace politics and hinder career advancement.

What are alignment conversations and how do they benefit employees?

Alignment conversations are foundational discussions aimed at understanding priorities and defining what success looks like within a team. Wilding emphasizes the importance of these conversations to ensure that employees are working on high-value tasks that align with leadership expectations. Without this clarity, employees risk investing time in projects that do not support their manager's goals or the organization's direction.

How can employees effectively approach skip-level conversations?

Wilding suggests that managing up should extend beyond just one’s direct supervisor to include skip-level bosses. These conversations can provide broader insights into organizational priorities and enhance career visibility. However, employees must approach these discussions thoughtfully, ensuring that their direct manager understands their intentions and that they are not circumventing existing relationships.

What common pitfalls do employees face when trying to manage up?

Employees often gloss over the essential alignment conversations, mistakenly believing they are already aligned with their manager's expectations. Wilding points out that many become so entrenched in daily minutiae that they fail to step back and assess their manager's pressures and priorities. This oversight can lead to misaligned efforts and ultimately affect career progression.