#1072 - Dr Debra Soh - Why Nobody is Having Sex Anymore (& why it matters) - Modern Wisdom Recap

Podcast: Modern Wisdom

Published: 2026-03-16

Duration: 2 hr 6 min

Guests: Dr Debra Soh

Summary

Sexual activity is declining significantly among younger generations, with societal and technological changes impacting traditional mating practices and emotional connections.

What Happened

Dr. Debra Soh discusses the noticeable decline in sexual activity among millennials and Gen Z, citing data that shows one in three men and one in five women have not had sex in the past year. She explores the factors contributing to this 'sex recession,' including the rise of alternative outlets like pornography, AI companions, and OnlyFans, which may provide easier, less risky substitutes for real-life intimacy.

Soh also examines the biological and psychological allure of these technologies, questioning their long-term impact on human mating practices. She highlights how across all demographics, partnered and solo sexual activities have decreased, and suggests that this is not merely a redistribution of sexual outlets but a reduction in overall sexual activity.

The conversation delves into the historical context of sexual frequency, noting that the decline has been documented over the last 30 years, with significant drops in the last two decades. COVID-19 exacerbated trends already in motion, such as increased screen time and reduced in-person interactions, contributing to an ongoing disconnection between individuals.

Social media's impact is also discussed, where platforms intended to connect people are, paradoxically, fostering division and influencing unrealistic dating expectations. The hypergamous tendencies amplified by social media are seen as driving both men and women to adopt unrealistic standards for potential partners.

Dr. Soh addresses the biological implications of modern contraceptive methods, like birth control, which alter women's mating psychology and may indirectly affect men's testosterone levels. She argues that the biological and hormonal changes wrought by societal shifts further complicate traditional relationship dynamics.

The episode also covers the cultural shifts in gender expectations, noting how feminism and societal narratives have influenced perceptions of masculinity and femininity. Soh suggests that these evolving dynamics contribute to the broader decline in sexual and emotional intimacy.

Finally, the conversation touches on the future of human relationships, pondering whether technological surrogates could eventually replace human partners and what that might mean for future generations. The episode concludes with a reflection on the importance of addressing these trends holistically, considering both technological advancements and their psychological impacts.

Key Insights