Bozoma Saint John On How To Build Unshakable Confidence, Lead with Power & Advocate For Your Worth - The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Show Recap

Podcast: The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Show

Published: 2026-03-16

Duration: 3934

Guests: Bozoma Saint John

Summary

Bozoma Saint John discusses the development of unshakable confidence and the importance of advocating for one's worth, drawing from her personal and professional experiences. Her journey reflects resilience and authenticity, from navigating corporate spaces to addressing societal expectations as a widow and single mother.

What Happened

Bozoma Saint John, a renowned businesswoman and author, shares her insights on building confidence and advocating for oneself. She reflects on her time as the Chief Marketing Officer at Netflix during the pandemic, finding virtual happy hours uninspiring. A pivotal moment in her life came after the death of her husband, which led her to move from New York to Los Angeles for a new job, challenging societal norms about widowhood.

Saint John discusses the complexities of being a single mother after her husband's passing, revealing her initial reluctance to start a family. She defied conventional corporate advice by openly displaying pictures of her daughter at work, emphasizing authenticity over conforming to perceptions of commitment. Her unique approach to parenting includes involving her daughter in decision-making, such as letting her choose travel destinations instead of receiving birthday gifts.

The episode delves into Saint John's candidness about her fertility journey, where she openly shared her experiences to combat associated shame. The grief of unsuccessful embryo attempts deeply impacted her, likening it to losing babies. Despite this, she chose to write a book about grief and loss, rather than corporate success, to highlight the resilience required to overcome personal adversities.

Saint John's career ambition was initially driven by a desire for power and respect, often feeling dismissed in meetings. She advises women to request salaries 30% higher than industry standards to counteract the common tendency to undervalue themselves. This advice stems from her observation that men are more likely to ask for raises despite being less qualified.

The conversation touches on Saint John's philosophy that every person has a unique talent or perspective to offer. She stresses the importance of finding common ground with others to foster genuine connections, even when feeling 'othered'. Her leadership style is characterized by authenticity, as she believes in not faking energy in professional settings.

Saint John's career trajectory includes significant roles, such as being Spike Lee's assistant where she suggested Beyoncé Knowles for a PepsiCo ad campaign. Her decision to leave Netflix to write a book reflects her prioritization of personal growth over corporate success. Joining the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was an unexpected move to showcase the vibrant lives of women in their 40s and 50s.

Key Insights

• Women are advised to request salaries 30% higher than industry standards to counteract the tendency to undervalue themselves, based on the observation that men ask for raises more frequently despite being less qualified.
• In a unique approach to parenting, involving children in decision-making, such as choosing travel destinations instead of receiving birthday gifts, can foster independence and engagement.
• Openly sharing personal experiences, such as fertility challenges, can help combat associated shame and foster a culture of authenticity and resilience in the workplace.
• Leaving a high-profile corporate role to pursue personal growth, such as writing a book, can reflect a prioritization of personal fulfillment over traditional career success.