Valerie Bertinelli On Overcoming Trauma, Letting Go Of Shame, & How To Practice Self-Love - The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Show Recap

Podcast: The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Show

Published: 2026-03-19

Duration: 1 hr 4 min

Guests: Valerie Bertinelli

What Happened

Valerie Bertinelli talks about her journey of self-discovery and healing from emotional trauma. She opens up about how writing her new book was a way to confront unhealed traumas and emotional challenges she faced over the years. Bertinelli emphasizes the importance of doing emotional work to become a full, authentic human being and how vulnerability is a powerful tool for personal growth.

Lauren Bostic and Michael Bostic engage with Valerie Bertinelli on the topic of emotions as information, highlighting her experiences with grief, anxiety, and sadness. Bertinelli mentions that despite being in a joyful phase of her life, external factors such as political scenarios and societal issues contribute to her feelings of sadness. She shares her frustrations with the lack of accountability for powerful men involved in sexual misconduct cases.

Bertinelli reflects on her early career in Hollywood, starting at the age of 12 with her first commercial. She talks about the support she received from mentors like Norman Lear and Bonnie Franklin, which shielded her from the darker aspects of the industry. The conversation also touches on her relationship with Eddie Van Halen, noting how their young marriage and shared challenges shaped their lives.

The discussion delves into the impact of parental relationships on personal development. Bertinelli shares how she was able to forgive her parents for their shortcomings after they passed away, understanding their limitations and traumas. This introspection helped her break the cycle of seeking approval and performing for others' happiness.

Bertinelli explains her shift in perspective on weight loss, emphasizing the need to release rather than lose weight. She criticizes the weight loss industry for ignoring the emotional roots of eating habits and stresses the importance of dealing with underlying traumas to achieve true well-being.

In terms of her love life, Bertinelli mentions a brief crush on Metallica's James Hetfield, which reignited her sense of being alive romantically. She acknowledges her past relationships and the unique connection she shares with her son Wolfgang Van Halen, whose musical career she proudly supports.

The episode closes with Bertinelli's thoughts on spirituality and the influence of Louise Hay's teachings on her life. She advocates for finding inner peace and gratitude, regardless of circumstances, and how connecting with a higher power has been integral to her healing journey.

Key Insights

• Valerie Bertinelli's writing process for her new book was unplanned and emerged from confronting unresolved emotional traumas. She found it exciting to do the work required for healing, emphasizing that emotions are valuable information.
• The entertainment industry, as experienced by Bertinelli, can be both supportive and hazardous. Her mentors Norman Lear and Bonnie Franklin provided protection, allowing her a positive experience, unlike some of her peers who faced significant challenges.
• Bertinelli's perspective on her parents changed after their passing, enabling her to forgive them for their inadequacies. This shift helped her understand the impact of their traumas and allowed her to stop performing for their approval.
• Her approach to weight has changed from losing to releasing, focusing on dealing with emotional traumas rather than adhering to diet culture. She critiques the weight loss industry for not addressing the emotional aspects of eating.