Valerie Bertinelli On Overcoming Trauma, Letting Go Of Shame, & How To Practice Self-Love - The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Show Recap

Podcast: The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Show

Published: 2026-03-19

Guests: Valerie Bertinelli

What Happened

Valerie Bertinelli, a Golden Globe-winning actress and author, delves into her journey of overcoming trauma and embracing self-love. She candidly shares her personal experiences with unresolved emotional trauma and the realization that she needed to address these issues to find peace. Despite her successes, she experienced emotions like grief and anxiety, underscoring the importance of acknowledging and working through one's feelings.

Bertinelli's latest book, 'Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect,' is her most vulnerable work to date. She discusses her approach to self-love, emphasizing the importance of positive self-talk and setting boundaries. She also talks about the impact of her parents' influence and the significance of forgiving them, recognizing their humanity.

Valerie reflects on her relationship with Eddie Van Halen, noting the role of drugs and alcohol in their lives. Therapy played a crucial role in her healing process, helping her and her son Wolfie to navigate their emotions after her divorce. She also touches on the concept of 'release weight,' highlighting the link between emotional issues and weight gain.

In a lighter moment, Valerie humorously recounts a crush on James Hetfield of Metallica, which helped her realize her capacity for romantic feelings. Her son, Wolfie, who has played music for nearly 20 years, opened for Metallica, showcasing his talent and dedication. Valerie is immensely proud of Wolfie's achievements, including his Grammy-nominated song 'Distance,' written for his late father.

Valerie emphasizes the power of vulnerability and the importance of trusting one's instincts. She commends Norman Lear and Bonnie Franklin for guiding her safely through Hollywood, contrasting her experience with that of her friend Mackenzie Phillips. Bertinelli also critiques the lack of accountability for powerful men in the entertainment industry.

Spirituality is another theme Valerie touches upon, stating that while she was raised Catholic, she now rejects organized religion. She believes in the interconnectedness of all energy and the importance of finding positivity and gratitude even in challenging times. Embracing her imperfections has been a liberating experience for her, as she continues to own her story and recovery.

Key Insights

• Valerie Bertinelli began her acting career at age 12 and starred in 'One Day at a Time' at 15, crediting Norman Lear and Bonnie Franklin for their guidance.
• Valerie's relationship with Eddie Van Halen was marked by substance use, which stemmed from unresolved past traumas. They attended therapy with their son Wolfie after their divorce.
• Valerie prefers to use the term 'release weight' instead of 'lose weight,' focusing on addressing the emotional causes of weight gain. She values fitness for practical reasons rather than appearance.
• Valerie's spirituality evolved from her Catholic upbringing to a belief in interconnected energy, focusing on positivity and gratitude despite rejecting organized religion.