Buddhist Monks On: Letting Go of Shame, The Opposite of Depression, and Dealing With Criticism | Ajahn Kovilo and Ajahn Nisabho - 10% Happier with Dan Harris Recap

Podcast: 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Published: 2026-03-18

Guests: Ajahn Kovilo, Ajahn Nisabho

What Happened

Ajahn Kovilo and Ajahn Nisabho, both American Buddhist monks, joined Dan Harris to discuss their experiences and insights on spiritual growth and community living. They co-founded the Clear Mountain Monastery in Seattle, which aims to bring Buddhist teachings to a modern audience through their Clear Mountain Monastery Project podcast.

Ajahn Kovilo emphasized the importance of structure and accountability within a community, drawing parallels between monastic living and family life. He suggested that clear expectations, akin to monastic rules, can benefit families by fostering harmony and understanding.

Ajahn Nisabho shared his journey towards monastic life, inspired by early exposure to Buddhist teachings and the book 'Siddhartha' by Hermann Hesse. He highlighted the significance of spiritual grounding as a counterbalance to focusing solely on external achievements.

The monks introduced the Buddhist practice of 'avi karoti,' or confession, which involves regularly acknowledging mistakes to a trusted monk. This practice not only encourages personal growth but also helps maintain metacognition and accountability within the community.

Feedback, both giving and receiving, was another focal point of the discussion. The monks referenced Buddhist teachings on feedback, which advise ensuring one's mind is free from anger or envy before offering feedback, and doing so with loving kindness and truthfulness.

The episode also touched upon modern applications of Buddhist principles, such as limiting news consumption and setting boundaries to maintain mental well-being. This aligns with the Buddhist emphasis on cultivating a bright and loving mind.

Ajahn Kovilo and Ajahn Nisabho also addressed the practice of generosity, known as 'saraniya,' which involves prioritizing giving before receiving. This practice is not only a form of spiritual discipline but also a practical way to alleviate anxiety by focusing on the needs of others.

Key Insights

• Ajahn Kovilo and Ajahn Nisabho found value in confession practices, which they engage in bi-weekly. This involves acknowledging mistakes and fosters personal growth and accountability within their monastic community.
• The Buddha's guidelines for giving feedback emphasize examining one's mind state to ensure feedback is not motivated by anger or envy. Feedback should be given from a place of loving kindness, truthfulness, and at the right time.
• Ajahn Nisabho's path to monastic life was influenced by Buddhist teachings and literature, including 'Siddhartha' by Hermann Hesse. He sought spiritual grounding as a balance to external achievements.
• The monks discussed the importance of setting boundaries, such as limiting news consumption, to maintain mental well-being. This is in line with Buddhist practices that aim to keep the mind bright and filled with loving-kindness.