Harvard Business School Professor on Building Trust, Reducing Regret, and the Underrated Power of Oversharing | Leslie John - 10% Happier with Dan Harris Recap

Podcast: 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Published: 2026-03-02

Duration: 1 hr 10 min

Summary

In this episode, Dan Harris interviews Harvard Business School Professor Leslie John about the importance of self-disclosure and the potential negative effects of under-sharing. John argues that while the fear of oversharing is common, the real risk lies in not sharing enough, which can lead to missed opportunities and negative health consequences.

What Happened

Dan Harris opens the episode by addressing the common concern of oversharing, introducing his guest, Leslie John, who challenges this notion with her insights on the costs of under-sharing. John, a professor at Harvard Business School, shares her research and personal journey that led her to explore the benefits of self-disclosure, emphasizing that keeping emotions bottled up can have detrimental effects on both mental and physical health.

The discussion highlights how sharing personal information can lead to significant social and psychological rewards. John explains that putting feelings into words can alleviate anxiety and rumination, suggesting that the act of self-disclosure can foster deeper connections in both personal and professional settings. She also shares anecdotes from her research, noting that validation from others often proves to be more beneficial than unsolicited advice, reinforcing the value of open communication in relationships.

Key Insights

• The dangers of under-sharing can outweigh the risks of oversharing.
• Self-disclosure can lead to reduced anxiety and improved mental health.
• Validation from others is often more effective than giving advice.
• Creating a safe space encourages individuals to share more openly.

Key Questions Answered

What are the psychological benefits of self-disclosure?

Leslie John discusses how self-disclosure can significantly reduce anxiety and rumination, leading to improved mental health. By articulating feelings and experiences, individuals often find relief from the burdens of keeping secrets, which can weigh heavily on the psyche.

How does under-sharing affect relationships?

John emphasizes that under-sharing can lead to missed opportunities in relationships, both personal and professional. When individuals withhold information, they risk creating distance and misunderstanding, which can hinder the development of deeper connections.

What makes validation more beneficial than advice?

According to John, validation often provides individuals with the reassurance they seek, allowing them to feel understood and accepted. In contrast, advice can sometimes come across as dismissive or unhelpful, especially if it doesn't resonate with the individual's experience.

How can one strategically share personal information?

John suggests that successful self-disclosure is about finding the right context and audience. By creating a safe and supportive environment, individuals can feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without the fear of judgment.

What research supports the benefits of sharing?

Leslie John shares insights from her research that indicate the positive outcomes of self-disclosure, including the enhancement of social bonds and the reduction of anxiety. She references several studies that illustrate how people respond positively when they feel safe to share their experiences.