Tracee Ellis Ross: Holding On to Joy In Hard Times - We Can Do Hard Things Recap

Podcast: We Can Do Hard Things

Published: 2026-03-17

Guests: Tracee Ellis Ross

What Happened

Tracee Ellis Ross celebrates her 50th birthday with a self-hosted party, surrounded by her biological and chosen family. She describes her close friends as 'cauldron people,' suggesting they have deep, intrinsic connections formed over time.

Tracee Ellis Ross, known for her roles in 'Blackish' and 'Girlfriends,' is an award-winning actress and producer. She also founded Pattern, a hair care brand for curly and coily hair, and is producing a podcast titled 'I Am America,' which aims to address divisions in the country.

Ross reflects on societal pressures on women, particularly the expectation to be 'choosable.' She advocates for mental health practices like therapy and friendship as tools to combat these pressures and maintain personal well-being.

She recounts learning from Pema Chödrön's books about self-care and the idea of waiting to reflect until one can do so constructively. Ross experiences 'risk hangover,' a feeling of anxiety and self-doubt after taking risks, and she emphasizes the importance of deliberate aftercare.

Tracee Ellis Ross uses fashion as a form of self-expression and a means to combat microaggressions. As a child, she collected beads from her mother's dresses, indicating an early love for fashion.

Ross navigates perimenopause and reflects on the transformations it brings, viewing her 50th birthday as an honor, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic. Her approach to aging is influenced by her mother's love for celebrations, which instilled in her a sense of joy in marking milestones.

Key Insights

• Tracee Ellis Ross describes her friends as 'cauldron people,' a term that signifies a deep, intrinsic connection over time, much like souls scattered across time and space connecting with each other.
• Tracee Ellis Ross founded Pattern, a hair care brand focused on curly and coily hair textures, demonstrating her commitment to addressing the specific needs of diverse hair types.
• Ross experiences a 'risk hangover,' feeling anxiety and self-doubt after taking risks, which she manages through deliberate aftercare and mental health practices.
• The societal pressures on women to be 'choosable' and the impact on personal relationships are themes Ross addresses, advocating for self-care and tools like therapy to maintain mental health.